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Frequently Asked Questions
 
 

Adoptive Family Questions

family feetWhat can we do now, even though we're scheduled for a rotation or deployment coming up soon?
We encourage our military families to complete their application online, regardless of deployment or rotation schedules. Lifetime's free application allows you to work with an adoption coordinator to assist you further in your planning. Your coordinator can get to know you better, provide information, and tailor the steps you'll take to the timing you're working with as a service member.

Military families are able to complete the online application and a phone conference, as well as receive our contract packet (if approved for the program), without making any obligations to Lifetime. We will help you determine if you should begin taking active steps toward adopting now, or if you should remain in the planning phase until a future date.

We are eager to assist you with your exploration and planning, and have had great success for our military families.

Do birth moms choose military families?
Yes! Military families have had great success with Lifetime Adoption! We have a can-do attitude about assisting our military families!

We have observed that military families typically display many characteristics that birth moms are commonly seeking in adoptive parents. Many birth moms love to see patriotic values, integrity, work ethic, diversity in community, stability of income, quality medical care, and many other common traits found in military families.

As an adoption professional, we've observed that overwhelmingly, military families have been able to follow the steps of our program, have great communication as spouses and with us, and display a high-level of adoption readiness. Just like with military service, the call could come at any time, and military families have a lifestyle of being, “at the ready,” just as we do here at Lifetime Adoption. These characteristics have greatly contributed to the success of Lifetime's military families.

How can we have open adoption if we move every three years, and might be stationed overseas?
Open adoption is an agreement to keep in touch throughout the years. You can send letters & photos through the internet, text, or by mail. If the birth mom is selecting adoptive parents who are open to seeing her for visits as the years go by, you can still make your best efforts to be available to her. You can set up a lunch date or play date while you're stateside visiting friends and family. You can also substitute a phone call or video chat during times when travel isn't possible.

Remember, birth moms are responsible for their own travel in open adoption. She will know when choosing you that you are a military family, and may be stationed elsewhere over the years. We've not seen this be a deterrent for birth moms.

What if I have to deploy during the adoption process?
Lifetime instituted the “hold” option many years ago, to make accommodations for our military families during the First Gulf War. You are not required to place your program on hold because of a deployment, exercise, TDY, or other military duties, it is simply an option Lifetime offers.

Married couples can continue to pursue a successful adoption in the midst of military obligations. We recommend that our military spouses have a Power of Attorney, which will enable them to proceed with the adoption process if a placement occurs while the service member is away on military duty.

What if we get chosen for a "Drop In the Lap", and we're stationed overseas?
When you begin your program at Lifetime, discuss your travel concerns with your primary coordinator. Share with her the amount of time it would take you to travel from your location back to the U.S.

We can still consider you for sudden adoption opportunities (or Drop In the Laps), as long as you're able to arrive within the time needed for that particular adoption opportunity!

Some birth moms may plan a last-minute adoption, or have time constraints that give Lifetime mere hours or only one or two days to have a family physically present with the baby. We consider travel time when determining which adoptive family is a fit for these adoptions.

If you're stationed overseas, we do not require you to be open for Drop In the Lap adoptions. Just let us know in advance that you want to be excluded from these adoption opportunities. All families living stateside are required to be open for Drop In the Lap adoptions. We will make exceptions for military families who are stationed overseas.

What if we rotate in the middle of our adoption process?
Rotation plans should be shared with Lifetime as soon as possible, so we can guide you through any steps that pertain to your adoption process.

If you've not yet completed your adoption, and you're moving to a different state, you will need to complete a new home study.

A move that is still within the bounds of the original home study provider (within the same state or county), will likely only require an update to include a new home inspection and updated information in your home study report.

Different states have different home study requirements, and if you're moving to a different state, please be prepared to begin a new home study at the new location. For this reason, we will talk with you about the projected timing of your rotation, prior to beginning the program together. Most military families can count on remaining at a duty station for a certain amount of time. We also understand and respect that where and when you move isn't in your control, and the needs of the military always prevail.

Birth Mother Questions
With open adoption, birth parents have choicesWhat is Open or Semi Open Adoption?
In an open adoption, the birth parent may choose the adoptive family themselves, rather than having an agency choose the family for them. You may decide on the amount of contact you wish to have. Some women want letters and photos, others want visits or phone calls after the adoption and some want no contact at all. The choice is up to you and your adoptive family.You may choose the family that best meets your needs and those of your child or we will select a family for you if you prefer. You and the adoptive parents have a variety of options.

Why do women choose adoption?
Most women choose adoption because they love their child and realize that they are not ready to be the kind of parent they need to be at this time in their life. Others realize that there are unique reasons in their life that are preventing then from being able to parent their child. We realize that choosing adoption for your child can be a very difficult decision. We want to help you make the right decision and help you explore parenting and adoption and let you determine what is right for you both at this time in your life. It takes courage and strength to be able to make this important decision.

How are adoptive families screened?

Adoptive families are screened and pre-qualified. A licensed social worker will conduct a thorough home study evaluation and visit the adoptive family's home in their state. This includes a background check, medical evaluations, financial and FBI screening. You are assured that your baby will be raised within a loving and safe family environment. You will be able to speak to families also to determine whom you feel you want to adopt and raise your child.

Is this safe & legal?
Yes, open adoption is legal. Your adoption can be completed as an independent adoption or a designated agency adoption. The process is normally simple and confidential. All adoption laws are adhered to, allowing you peace of mind that your adoption is safe, legal and ethical. An attorney in your state will be provided to you in advance if you have additional questions. All legal work is conducted by a qualified adoption attorney and or a social worker.

Are there any costs to me?
There is no cost to you as a birth parent. Adoptive parents pay for legal fees, reasonable pregnancy-related expenses, medical bills not covered by insurance, consulting and counseling fees.

What if I go into labor, can you work with me from the hospital?

Yes, we often receive calls from the hospital. We can have a family available for you within hours. In most states, the adoptive family will be able to take the baby home from the hospital, avoiding fostercare. We have found that most birth mothers want to be sure that their baby can start bonding with their adoptive family right away. We are open for emergencies on all weekends, holidays and through the night. We have families that can travel within a few hours nationwide.

Can I select a family from a state other than my own?
The beauty of the internet is the access to a large variety of qualified families that will meet your specifications nationwide or if you prefer we have families in most states or can find some families for your state.

My child is older; do you have families that are interested in older children?
We have loving families seeking children of all ages and races. It is our policy not to separate siblings, so we work hard to find just the right family for you to interview for the adoption. You will be able to decide on the type of contact you wish after the placement.

What age range are most of your birth mothers?
We have birth mothers from 12 yrs old to their mid 40's. For some women this is their first child and others have children. Some of our birth parents are married. Most birth parents love their child and want to provide them with the best home and future that they can and adoption has been a loving option for many.

Is it selfish to consider adoption?
No, adoption can be one of the most loving decisions you make for your child. It takes a great deal of love and maturity to know that raising a child can be difficult and that love is not enough to provide what a child needs to thrive. Even with the help of families and friends, the task can be difficult. Often family and friends are there at the beginning, then when times get more difficult you are on your own. It is important to realize that what ever your decision is that you are ultimately going to be the primary caregiver and the person that will need to take care of your child. This can be a sacrifice for many years to come. Many women realize the time is not right for them to parent and that adoption is the most sensible and most important decision they will make for their child and their life.

Some of my friends say I should keep my baby and that children belong with their birth parents, what should I do?
You will need to consider honestly where you are in your life now and if you are ready for parenting at this time. This doesn't mean you are bad, it means you know that you are not at a time in your life that parenting and raising a child is in the best interest for you or your child. It is easy for friends to make comments when they have not been in your position. The only person that can make this decision is you. You want to consider honestly your options of parenting and adoption before the baby is born. We have a number of other birth mothers you can speak to if you would like to find out how they handled their pregnancy. Just ask us.

My job requires me to work 18+ hours a day. And I'm also a single parent, without support of my family or the father’s baby; I don't want to bring up my baby with daycare, and someone else raising him. Also I want him to have two loving parents. I love my baby that's why I know that adoption is the best choice for him. How do I start an adoption plan?
There is help and hope. If you would like to speak on the phone or in person, please call Lifetime Adoption at 1-800-923-6784 and we will help you find just the right adoptive family for your adoption. Through open adoption you have the choice of remaining in contact with the adoptive family and child. If this is something you would like to do. The choice is yours. All the adoption expenses are free of charge to you as a birth mother. We can help you with answers and the paperwork. We also have an attorney you can speak to, once you have decided or if you have legal questions before the adoption. Please feel free to call and you can also fill out the paperwork for us online at http://lifetimeadoption.com/birthmothers/start-your-adoption-plan/ or by calling 1 800 923-6784 7 days a week.


 

 

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