My Boyfriend Wants Me to Have an Abortion and I Don’t Want To!

Boyfriend Wants Me to Have an Abortion and I Don't Want ToIt may have just been my mind, but I almost felt like I knew that I was pregnant the very moment after I had been with my boyfriend. Very weird, but true. I went home that night thinking, I’m pregnant. I just know I am. Well…I was right. I was pregnant.

The next month when I didn’t get my period, so, took a home pregnancy test and, just to get an official confirmation, I went to a clinic. I told my boyfriend and he said that he didn’t want it. I told my best friend and told her that my boyfriend wants me to have an abortion and I don’t want to, but she said that I was dumb for not having one. I thought to myself, “dumb”!?! I don’t want to kill a baby. That’s how I see it. I don’t want to have that in my heart and in my mind. I don’t believe that having an abortion is right. I’m not “dumb” for not having an abortion. Just like those people say that they have a “choice”. I do too…I choose NOT to destroy a new life.

I understood that my boyfriend didn’t want to be a father and I didn’t really want to be a mother either. But, we were in this situation and the only thing that we could do was to go forward and start making some decisions. I thought we could do it together, but my boyfriend just saying that he wants me to have an abortion, and I kept saying that I didn’t want to! We couldn’t agree. So, we both finally agreed on something, and that was the fact that we needed to break up. It hurt, but I believe that it would have hurt more if I had destroyed the child that was growing inside of me.

Boyfriend Wants Me to Have an Abortion and I Don't Want ToWith the help of an adoption counselor and my own pastor, I decided to place my baby for adoption. I learned a lot about the adoption process and I was able to choose the type of adoption that I wanted. I decided that one day, I may want to be in this child’s life. It also helped to select wonderful parents for this baby that would be there to raise him the right way. I can’t be a mom right now, but one day, when I’m older, married, and more established, I may be ready to start my own family.

I learned, through this experience, that I really don’t believe in abortion…not just because someone says I shouldn’t but because, in my heart, I feel that it’s not right. So, even though I was in a situation where my boyfriend wanted me to have an abortion, I didn’t want to and I didn’t do it! I didn’t do it for me and I wouldn’t do it for anybody. That’s MY choice.

To find out more about other options such as adoption, visit, call or text 1-800-923-6784.

Mardie Caldwell, C.O.A.P. (Certified Open Adoption Practitioner) is an adoptive mother, adoption expert, and author of a number of adoption books. Mardie is also the talk show host of Let's Talk with Mardie Caldwell and the founder of Lifetime Adoption in 1986. She travels and speaks nationwide on adoption topics, family topics, infertility and writing. She has been quoted in and consulted for Parenting and Adoption magazines and has appeared on CNN, CBS, ABC, BBC, NBC, and Fox. Featured in Parade Magazine, Caldwell is an adoptive mother living in Northern California.


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